Children and Trauma

Helping children understand and process an experience that is horrifying and frightening to all of us requires more than a pat response. Avoid extremes - neither expose children to hours of TV viewing of the disaster nor pretend that nothing important happened.

Acknowledging a child’s feelings, no matter what they might be, is crucial.

Because children often understand events differently than adults, it’s also important to find out how our children understand what happened. Children are most reassured when they know that their parents care enough to find out how they feel and what they think, that their parents take their thoughts and feelings seriously.

How you talk to your children and what you tell them should take into account the child’s age, temperament, and previous traumatic experiences. Parents don’t need to give many details to preschoolers, but should know that teenagers may want to discuss the hijackers’ methods, the victims’ feelings, and their fears about war and their own futures.

It would be wise to be protective of a particularly anxious and sensitive child. Children who have experienced natural disasters like hurricanes and fires, parental or sibling losses, or abuse are likely to be particularly affected by the terrorist attacks.

Children who can’t talk about the events in a serious way need to be understood, too.

Parents can model an appropriate emotional response. For example, they can discuss their own feelings (“I was really scared when I heard the news; I feel very sad for kids who lost relatives in the hurricane.”)

Tips for parents
Children, no matter what age, need reassurance, and parents can provide it in the following ways:

Provide distractions and good times.
Go back to normal routines; they are reassuring to all of us.
Provide affection and comfort, extra hugs and comfort at bedtime.
Involve your children in the disaster in a proactive way, by giving a donation of money or other items for disaster relief.
Talk about the heroism displayed by firemen, policemen and regular citizens who rescue people in danger.
Get the help and support you need, and you will be more available to support your children.
We don’t know what is ahead. We also don’t know all the repercussions of the hurricane and the subsequent evacuations for children. Clearly, being close to the tragedy - losing parents or family members, seeing the attack and its physical aftermath - makes children very vulnerable.
Children who are having nightmares or trouble sleeping, who express fears, anxiety about separation or preoccupation with the tragedy in the succeeding months ahead, deserve the concern of parents and teachers and the intervention of mental health professionals.